Thursday, February 10, 2011
Give them space
When people say they are over the fact they have lost someone, a dog, a cat, a grandma, a parent, etc, it most likely isn't true. But don't bug them for details either. If they aren't comfortable, let them be. Even if its been since they were little, don't push them because the truth is, they might not want to talk about it. Loss is a sad thing. Its a inconvenience. Its the time you mourn. Its a tragedy. You miss that someone so dearly, you ache for one last day with them. Like Em's poem, her line, 'I lay awake these long nights, wishing for just one more day' You see, even as i interview these people, they get choked up, they remember the loss, they relive the pain. Its not fair to bug them and ask them about what happened, its only fair to give them space. Otherwise, remembering just might make them feel that need, that ache, to see that person even more.
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Jayde- Your stories and writing are wonderful, although some are unspeakably sad. I love the project that your class is doing! I do think it is okay to ask people how they are doing and if they want to talk after something terrible happens. My father died suddenly when I was in high school, and I remember that people avoided me because they didn't know what to say. This made things even harder for me. There is often no "right" thing to say, but telling someone that they are in your thoughts and you care about them is always okay. Keep up the great work!! Jill Ginsberg
ReplyDeleteI understand how it feels for someone to be asking what happened, so I sometimes just don't talk about it and talk about happier thoughts. I know that losses are sad, because I have lost many cats, but sometimes I like to tell people about it. One of my cats died recently, a friend came over and asked where the cat was. M heart started to ache and I told them that he died in a sorrowful voice. It's always hard to talk about tragedies for me. I know that you need to just give them space.
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